Last night, while hanging out with some friends, my husband made the innocent side comment of, “Well we are both Christians...”
As a new Agnostic unbeliever who is not yet ready to come out of the closet, I didn’t realize how much this would bother me. My head snapped around. I wanted to open my mouth and loudly proclaim that No, actually, we weren’t both Christians. Obviously, I needed to let it go, but my reaction surprised me. Of course, my husband would say things like that. As far as he knows, we both are Christians, albeit a bit more on an agnostic level than most.
Never mind that 3 years ago it was I, even in the midst of my doubts, who insisted we do a Bible study together. It was I who complained about him never going to church with me or being involved. I am the one who pushed for giving a tithe to our church. And it was I who told him through sobs that I felt like we didn’t have a God-filled marriage. This man must be so confused. Which is why I think it is important to ease him into this mess over a period of years. It is also why I will have to bite down my intellectual pride whenever he references the fact that we are both Christians.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.