Yesterday my husband and I were returning from our Thanksgiving vacation, if you can call it that. After reading a number of different articles about good ways to tell your spouse about deconversion, I have realized how very wrongly I handled the situation. This is my husband, the person I share almost everything with and when I started to experience doubts, instead of talking to him about it, I closed that part of myself off from him. Some of this was because when I said things like, "Would you have married me if I wasn't a Christian," his immediate and heartfelt response was No. He wouldn't have even dated me if I wasn't a Christian because he wanted to be married to a Christian, not an atheist. He also had a few unkind words to say about atheists and agnostics and was quick to criticize anyone who said anything disparaging about religion. I took all of that to mean that he would not only be unsupportive of this journey I was on, but would also see anything I said against religion (beyond the usual philisophical discussions) as bad. But the result was that when I did tell him he was hurt and angry and very very surprised. But I apologized. I apologized for not telling him from the beginning because I did drop a bomb on him and that wasn't fair. It made him question my integrity, my intentions, and our relationship.
This, of course, led down a very interesting path. Despite being a very logical person he has over the past few months fallen into many common Christian illogical fallacies. He tried the 'No True Scotsman' scenario, accusing me of not ever being a Christian and tricking him into marrying me. I know this was a knee-jerk reaction, but this wounded me deeply. I wasn't lying to him. Of course, I was a Christian when he married me. People change. I changed. Yesterday he told me that it is sad that the kind of faith I was raised in made me doubt like this. In other words, I was just not given the right flavor of Christianity. It matters little that he was raised in a very similar way with similar beliefs. If my mom wasn't such a "Christian mystic" (his words not mine), I would have been able to reach the same conclusion that he has.
As our conversation turned toward one particular topic, prayer, I was told that I couldn't understand the Bible anymore because I didn't believe in it. That my perspective was too skewed and I was mistranslating things based upon my new viewpoints. Even if my viewpoint on this particular subject has been the same for years, I am not not understanding it because i am not a Christian. We talked about how studies show no conclusive evidence that prayer works and that some studies even show a negative effect where intercessory prayer is concerned. This really upset him. He did not like the idea that prayers he has prayed for people could be making the situation worse. He rejected any studies I mentioned saying that they can be skewed. The fact that I don't have these studies memorized was also a strike against them and me. My information cannot be accurate because I can't tell him all the details of this one particular study that I read a few months ago. It was in a word--infuriating.
I have never been great at debating. It is not an enjoyable process for me and although I do know what I believe, based on mountains of evidence that I have seen, read, and studied, I cannot regurgitate that information on a whim. Since my own anecdotal evidence cannot be trusted as it is such a small sampling, I have to rely on data and research studies to provide a larger sample size. That data, coupled with personal experience, tells me that praying for things simply doesn't work. Perhaps as a meditative practice it has merits, but no one's life is going to be saved simply because you prayed in your bedroom one morning. What changes lives is action.
My husband and I have had this talk numerous times over the past four years. He doesn't believe in faith healing anymore than I do. Yet, now that I am no longer a believe, suddenly he is fighting for the merits of prayer. It got heated people. I told him (with tears in my eyes) how much it upsets me to think of all the times I prayed for something with the realization that it just doesn't work. That there is no one out there who can hear my prayers. That we are on our own. It is hard to think like that because believing that there is a reason for everything, a plan for cancer or whatever, is comforting. But I can't anymore. I wish I could believe, but there is no going back now. Not without some serious evidence.
He seemed to have understood this last bit. He understood that there was no going back now. What he didn't understand was that my reasons for not being a Christian really don't have much to do with prayer. It's a small thing really, pressed up against the backdrop of the Bible and all its bullshit. Really, if prayer was the only reason I was questioning God, I would probably still be a Christian.
When I watch this video I see a number of things. The first is the sheer sadness and desperation of these families. It also makes me think of comments I have read like, "There are no children and women, it's just a bunch of fighting age men who want to spread terrorism." I always wonder if these people are watching different videos than me. Is Fox News only showing men in their news footage, cleverly editing it so that you don't see the many many women and children? My second thought is how good it is that there are people who are there to meet them, to give them water and food, warm dry clothes, and medical care. I have searched the internet for ways that I could help and it seems that unless I want to join one of these groups as a full-time employee, there isn't much groundwork I could do. So I give money. But not to this organization, because there is the third thing. They are doing this as a form of evangelizing. "We are probably the first Christians they have ever met," says one of the men in the video. "It is extremely special what we are doing here." That ulterior motive bothers me because it turns their good deed into something full of attached strings and expectations.
And sadly this very same religion that drives these people to give out bananas is the same one that has people wanting to turn them away. Most of these people's arguments quickly dissolve into conspiracy theories (an ideology that I also think is profoundly un-Christian). They say things like, "I hate Obama therefore I don't trust him and therefore if he says that it is okay to let Syrians in, then I don't think we should because I don't trust him." This is of course based purely off of feelings and not actual facts, but what does that matter when you hate someone so much. It's like some of these Christians are turning into Sith Lords. Seriously, you can just feel the hate in them. They also believe (again just a feeling) that Muslims are unfixable and inherently evil. They see children as young as eight as being terrorists simply because ISIS is forcing children to join them. That's like blaming the children who joined the Hitler Youth for being influenced and indoctrinated by an ideology and stating that there is no redemption for those children. I mean, even countries who have seen child soldiers do horrific things admit that the children should be given a second chance. But not Christians. These Christians hold fighting in higher regard than keeping a family together. "Why are those fighting age men fleeing? They should stay and fight for their country?" With who?! Who should they join. Pro-government? Rebel militias? Kurds? ISIS? The Russians? What if they don't agree with fighting? What if they think it is wrong? What if they think their wife and children are more important than an ideology? Americans seem to think that every country is all patriotic like America, but what if these people don't give a shit that they are Syrian...they just want to work and live in peace?
And then we have the Christians who take this hatred a step further. These are the ones who approach a Muslim woman and her children on the subway (I witnessed this) and yelled profanities at her about how she is ruining our country and God hates her. These are the Christians who stare at a woman in a hijab and whisper nasty things about her or worse, say them loud enough for her to hear. These people make sure that the Muslims they see know that they are not welcome or safe. They move out of neighborhoods where a Muslim family moved in. These are the ones who burn down mosques in the name of God. They attack people in restaurants (a recent news story) for not speaking English.
But they want to win people to Christ right? So many of these so-called Christians seem to be speaking out of their asses. "I love people....just not those Muslims. I sympathize with their plight....but not enough to want them as my next-door neighbor. I am truly understanding...but not of the actual situation. I only understand what the news media tells me. Facts? Don't need them. After all, I have my gut intuition and hatred of Obama to tell me the truth. Oh, and I'll pray for them. See, I just did something awesome there. Now everything will be better and I can continue to witness to regular Americans who have already heard the gospel story a million times."
What is it with Christians (particularly the extreme evangelical right-wing conservative ones) and their ulterior motives? Why can't they be generous and kind without the reason being conversion or because the end times are coming?
My mother (yes, her again) believes that we should help refugees not because they are the huddled masses that desperately need help, but because we are in the end times and them coming to America could be their only chance to become Christians. Yes, we should help refugees because they need to be converted and soon.
I have seen a similar attitude in regards to friendships. When I was younger, friendships with unbelievers were discouraged. It was popular opinion that until you were strong in your faith, you should not be "friends" with unbelievers because their unbelief could sway you. However, once you are a strong Christian, you should seek out these outsiders and befriend them, but only with the idea that you will be trying to convert them. In my church we called it "backdoor Christianity". You know, instead of announcing yourself as a Christian at the front door, you go through the back, pretend to be their friend, and then wham...convert them.
Refugees are seen as other, especially the Syrian ones as they are mostly Muslim and as we know, those Muslims need to be converted fast. The first reason is obvious, we are in the end times so we are on an invisible countdown. The second is just as asinine in that Christians think the only viable way to defeat terrorism is to convert the would-be terrorists. After all, violence would just end if everyone was Christian, right? Ignore history, modern Christianity would never do any of that. They are peaceful, well...unless they are right-wing and conservative then they are gun-toting proselytizers who will shoot anyone they deem a threat even if those people were to wind up in hell. That's what they deserve anyway.
My mother works with another woman I know doing outreach for the homeless. I love that they serve food to the homeless as well as provide tents, winter coats, gloves, sleeping bags, and even substance abuse support. They have built relationships with these people, helping some of them end their homelessness and providing them with things for their new apartments. What I don't like is that their reasons for doing are because 1) The Bible says to and 2) To share the love of Jesus. This is the reason they will give you for doing it and I always wonder, if there was no Bible, if you didn't believe this was a command from God and no fear of hell, would you do it? I believe humans are capable of great feats in love and compassion. Are these people just those kind of generous people or is their religion their only driving factor? What happens when you are doing the right thing, but for the wrong reasons?
Of course, there are those who never "preach", they just live lives that are worthy of God and by showing God's love, expect people to ask them why they are so joyful or kind or caring. Even then the motive behind the kindness is conversion. For some Christians I have known, it is a complete facade. That joy on display for the "world" disappears when they arrive home. I had an employee once who had a miserable home life, we will call her Zaria for the purpose of this post. Zaria was basically raising her younger brother and her mom was doing drugs, sleeping around, and neglecting her family. Zaria was creative, clever, and talented, but had no hopes for the future since all her money went to supporting her family and college was an impossibility. Yet she walked into work every day with this huge fake smile plastered on her face. Even on the days where he mother showed up, clearly wasted, and demanded money. Even on the days when Zaria was forced to bring her little brother into work during her entire shift because she didn't trust her mom's newest boyfriend. Even on the days where her car broke down. If I didn't work closely with her, I may have even been fooled by that smile, but it was obvious that it was just painted on. She told me once that the reason she smiles all the time is because God said that they [Christians] were to be joyful. "Are you joyful?" I asked. "I find joy in everything." Zaria gleefully replied in that fake happy way that only Disney channel actors can get away with. But she didn't. Finally, on one particularly bad day for Zaria one of my other employees, Meg, just looked at Zaria and said, "Wipe that damn grin off your face. We all know you have had a bad day. It's okay. We aren't going to think any less of you if you act like a normal person." For the first time ever, we got to meet the real Zaria. It was beautiful and real and refreshing. It didn't last, but how I wanted to tell her how much better it is for people to be true and honest than fakely happy just because God says Christians should be joyful. She wasn't winning souls to Christ by being fake.
I think I was about twenty-one when I rejected the idea of overt or covert evangelizing. It was a decision made during a mission trip no less. The group I was with had too many people on the trip so instead of doing work with schools or with suicide prevention programs like I was promised, my group was dropped off at local malls and shopping centers and instructed to walk around, strike up conversations, and then tell people about Jesus. I refused. Out and outright refused to do it. How fucking rude is that? These people are just shopping around and then some obnoxious American walks up, starts talking to them for no reason, and then drops the Jesus-bomb on them. Are you kidding? I got into some trouble with my leaders for refusing, but I managed to weasel my way out of it by telling them I would do the intercessory prayer while they walked around. By the way, in the month that I was there only one person was ever led to the Lord and that person was what Christians typically refer to as a backslider.
I see these types of charity work as not only disengenous, but also fake and cruel. How terrible would it be to become friends with someone only to find out that their only reason for being your friend is in hopes of winning you to Christ? I don't see how "Love your neighbor as yourself" can have an additional caveat of, "...in order to convert them."
Check out this link for someone who says basically the same thing, but a bit more eloquently than I.
I have always been the kind of person who likes to perfect things before I present them to the world. For example: I have played violin since I was eight, but rarely have played solos because I am never super confident that it sounds perfect. Of course, it will never be perfect and most people can't tell at all, yet I can't help myself. For some reason, this is how I have been treating my deconversion though.
Last night my husband, who is still struggling with this whole deconversion thing, justifiably said that he felt like this whole thing just came out of the blue. We have only known each other for just under four years so how did I do this complete about face concerning religion? Was I lying to him? Was I pretending to have a stronger faith than I actually had? Was it just an act? To all of these I answer no. I was a Christian when I met and married him. Did I have doubts? Sure. But I haven't met a Christian yet that didn't admit to having doubts. This was normal and so I didn't question those doubts. What I did think would happen was that if I just kept going to church and attending small groups, if I just kept volunteering and reading my Bible, that sooner or later I would hear the voice of God and all my doubts would be alleviated. Truth is, I still feel like that sometimes. Do you know how much easier this whole thing would be if God would just give me a sign and I could go back to believing again?
My husband does have a point though. Even in my deconversion, I don't really want to talk to people about it (particularly believers...and this includes him) because I want to make sure all my answers are perfect. I don't like confrontation or drama. I do not enjoy arguments or debates. At no point do I want to tell someone about my deconversion and it turn into an argument, debate, or angry tirade. I wouldn't put up with any of this as I see it as highly disrespectful. I also do not want to destroy anyone else's faith. As wrong as I feel that religion is, I also am keenly aware that there are some people out there that could not function if they believed there was no god. A friend of mine passed away last December and the only thing holding her sister together at this point is her assurance that she will see her sister again in heaven. Seriously, that's it. I highly suspect that if my friend's sister was an atheist she would probably have either checked herself into a mental health facility or killed herself. Her grief is that big.
I do and don't want to share with my husband all the interesting things I have found about the Bible, evolution, origin of the species, world religions, and religious anthropology because 1) he is smart enough to find this out on his own and 2) I don't want it to appear like I am trying to deconvert him. He assured me that he is confident in his faith (despite telling me differently fairly recently) and that there is nothing I could say that will turn him from God. Of course, one thing I wonder is whether my deconversion has sent him running in the opposite direction and made his faith more concrete in an effort to distance himself from my atheistic self.
Here is my second truth though. It is true that for the past year I have begun to pull back the curtain on my religion and I didn't tell him about it. I didn't tell him that I was rereading the Bible or why. I didn't tell him that by admitting that archaological evidence doesn't line up with Biblical text it threw the veracity of the Bible out the window for me. I didn't tell him that when I actually started to learn and understand evolution and the origin of the species that it made perfect sense, more sense than some illogical magic story about Adam and Eve. And to be fair I didn't tell him that it had been more than a decade since I "heard" from God. Years since I had actually genuinely prayed. I was a Christian, but I had already rejected so much of my religious upbringing (and so had he) that I thought it would be okay. After all, we were in agreement about same sex marriage, church membership, televangelists, prosperity doctrine, Christian chick lit, modern contemporary worship. It seemed like enough.
I desperately want to talk to him about this stuff. He is my closest confident. I want to tell him about King Odin and King David. I want to share with him that we humans were not created perfect even when we come out of the womb seemingly okay. That eyeball that is supposed to be perfection according to Christians is a mess biologically speaking. What I wouldn't give to sit down and listen to a lecture from Richard Dawkins without my husband getting all offended because Dawkins wasn't "nice". Usually not being nice refers to anytime an atheist says a Christian is wrong. Christians can tell people they have the only truth to everlasting life, but no one else can say they have truth. I am a new convert and I have learned so much over the past year and I have no one to share it with. I have told seven people about my deconversion and only one of them is an atheist. Two are "spiritual" and believe in some kind of God, but have a weird relationship with the Bible and Christianity. One has even suggested me getting my palm read, which is like trading one religion for another in my mind and I just won't go there. One person is my cousin who I know will keep my confidence and is not devoutly Christian, but does believe in a God. One is my husband. And then my best friend and his wife who have been beyond understanding, but also completely miffed. Other than my husband, I have not told anyone who I would consider to be a devout Christian. I admit that some of this is out of fear, some because this is a profoundly private thing I am doing, a bit because all of my current friendships and relationships are truly awesome and perfect, and mostly because I don't like drama. And I get the very distinct impression that my husband does not approve.
"Fuck 'em," he said. "Who cares about what they think?" My response? I do. I absolutely do care what my best friend thinks of me. Our friendship is incredibly important to me. Same with my parents and siblings. Same for a number of my other friendships. I absolutely care what they think because they are people that I love deeply and who love me in return. What is life without our friends and family? I only have this one life to live, why would I spend it making enemies of the people I love? I do want to live a life of integrity, but I also find it naive to think that you can go marching up to people, drop this bombshell on them and expect everything to be fine. My marriage is a prime example that this does not work well. So yeah, I think I am going to ease the people in my life into this. Next week is my last week at church. I'm not going to look for another one and I will be honest about that. Let them wrap their mind around the fact that I am quitting church and then we can pepper in the idea that I am having some doubts. They can think I am backslidden or whatever. Let's not just dump this on them because if my husband is an example of understanding, then the ones who don't understand are going to be nuts.
When I first told my husband about my atheism/agnosticism, one of his early comments to me was that perhaps I was watching too many atheist YouTube videos and this is what led me to where I am now. After all, they aren't all right and some of them are jerks and I should really be careful. What this did to me psychologically was make me feel ashamed even though I didn't need to be. I watch these videos in secret now, careful to view them at work or wearing headphones so that he doesn't overhear. I find myself watching other things so that my "suggested viewing" section isn't full of science and atheism videos that he may see when we are watching funny fail videos together. Of course, this is almost the exact same feeling I had when my mother told me masturbation was wrong and even though I kept doing it and knew in the back of my head that it was normal, I felt ashamed.
Here is what he doesn't understand. YouTube did not turn me into an atheist. The Bible did. I have had doubts for a very very long time. I began asking questions as a teenager. By my mid-twenties I had abandoned much of my conservative upbringing and thinking. I believed in evolution by that point (although was still a bit wary of it), no longer thought that homosexuality was a sin, and was a lot more forgiving of things like pre-marital sex and getting pregnant out of wedlock. Within the past few years my view of the church become more and more critical. My criticism of pastors and Christians was more outspoken. I no longer believed that all of the Bible was true since I had rejected Adam & Eve, Noah, Moses, and even King David. My interactions with other believers felt more and more like a me against them scenario.
A year and a half ago I told myself that I was going to read the Bible again. I had already read the entire Bible through three times in my life, but this time I would read it with honesty. If something didn't make sense, I would note it, study it, and acknowledge it. What I found was a book that had clearly been written by many authors, often decades and even centuries after when they supposably happened. There is some archaeological evidence for some things mentioned in the Bible and absolutely none for others. I saw inconsistencies, like how King Saul was killed and viewed people like King David for who they really were, douchebags. Yes, King David was an absolute asshole, if he existed at all which seems highly unlikely. If he did, he was definitely not the great King that he was made out to be. Personally, I think it was all a PR campaign for King Solomon (who we know existed) to legitimize himself on the throne. Like Kim Jong Un who makes up stories about how he was born in order to sound more god-like. I saw a book that touted a God who was genocidal maniac and could not possibly be all-knowing since there were many things that he didn't predict and some scientific facts that were just plain wrong. Worse yet, I read the story of Jesus, the foundation of my faith and realized that if this man had not been sent by God then he was absolutely a liar or a madman. No wonder the Jews were so upset with him. The man was claiming to be God and he sure as hell did not act anything like the God of Moses & Abraham. Nothing.
It was only then that I decided that I wasn't a Christian anymore.
Now, here is what I don't get. As a Christian, it is perfectly normal to attend a church full of other believers, go to small groups, and hang out with those same people at other times during the week. No one bats an eyelash if you say you were watching the newest Joel Osteen/T.D. Jakes/Joyce Meyer sermon. It is normal for a Christian to excitedly ask if you have seen Heaven if for Real/God is Not Dead/War Room/Fireproof yet. And then it is expected that you will have loved those movies and felt them hugely important in your life. Christians share around their favorite YouTube channels like Blimey Cow, Tripp & Tyler, The Bible Project, The Skit Guys, and Triple X Church and no one says a thing. No one is telling Christians that they should really lay off YouTube because it may be swaying them more towards Christ. Of course it is, that is the point.
But if an atheistic agnostic does any of the above then suddenly I am being weak minded and easily swayed? If someone becomes a Christian I expect them to immerse themselves into that culture. Why would it be any less for me? I am not a Christian anymore. Period. At this stage in my deconversion I am still getting over some of the indoctrination, trying to learn and wrap my head around evolution and science, and am trying to figure out how to tell the 90% of people in my life who are devoutly Christian that I no longer believe in a Christian God or possibly any god for that matter. I am finding comfort and solace in places like exchristian.net and Patheos, not to mention countless YouTubers who have shared their deconversion and coming out stories.
I had hoped for more support from my husband, but I don't think he knows how. This flies in the face of everything he believes and puts his own doubts into sharp focus.
I am not a naturally angry person. In the three years I have been married I have never yelled at my husband, even when I was upset. The last "friend" who picked a fight with me was over a decade ago and after that night, I never saw her again. I don't enjoy debates or arguments as they make me anxious and upset, even when they are just televised. Of course, things do upset me, but I would like to think that they are things that matter. Like how we treat the poor in this country, the xenophobia towards immigrants, LGBTQ rights, women's rights.
When it comes to Christianity, I try not to be an angry person. This is mostly for my own benefit, but also as a defense mechanism because Christians do a lot of things that make me angry if I let it. No one person in my life epitomizes this quandry more than my mother. Although I love her dearly, she is an insanely illogical, conspiracy theorist, right-wing religious zealot. And in my mind she represents all the uber-conservative Christians out there, the ones who since they already believe in demons have absolutely no problem believing in conspiracy theories.
These Christians see nothing wrong with discriminating against gay people because they chose to be gay and by making that choice, they somehow deserve to be treated badly. It doesn't matter that this flies in the face of everything Jesus taught. It's people flaunting their sin and those people need to be reminded, as often as possible, that they are horrible people who deserve hell. Because that's okay. I mean, God doesn't want them to sit idly by when people are sinning, right?
These Christians believe that abortion is wrong no matter what, but seem to care very little for those teen mothers and rape victims after they leave the hospital with their little bundle of joy. Sure there are Christian organizations who do try to help, but I have attended many churches with these staunch pro-lifers and most of their commitment begins and ends with themselves. In other words, they show their support for all things pro-life by having babies of their own. Most don't volunteer to help single mothers, or provide parenting classes, or even help out at soup kitchens. Instead, they sit in their pews and gossip about the new single mom who walked in in ratty clothes. They sure as hell care about whether she has an abortion and don't give a flying fuck what happens to her afterward. And don't get me wrong, they say they care. But their actions don't show it.
These Christians are so staunchly Christian that any politician who claims to be Christian is an instant win in their book. Unless of course that person is in that "other" party, then it means that the man (because it is usually men) is lying and probably a secret atheist or Muslim or whatever they are most afraid of.
These Christians believe so firmly that the end times are coming and coming soon that they search for persecution wherever they can find it. It's hiding in their schools when they are told that although no one cares if they pray, they just can't pray for everyone before a football game. They see it in their courthouses when the ten commandments are taken down, because Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me is an important law that should run our government, even if such a statement would be unconstitutional. They see it when a professor challenges their beliefs. It's at work when a co-worker asks you to please, for the love of God, stop telling me about Jesus. It's at a friend's party when an atheist asks you why you believe in a God. Persecution is everywhere. It's in the fact that people sin and they are expected to not condemn that person to hell in public. They are also aware that their persecution could be worse so they often post stories of "martyrs" around the world who really are being persecuted--as a sign of solidarity.
These Christians are so committed to a literal interpretation of the Bible that they reject all science unless it benefits them. Climate change cannot possibly be the result of human beings because God said he would destroy the earth, thereby it is impossible for humans to do it. Of course, they admit that we have can polluted our own water sources and will get very upset about things like fracking, but climate change....not a thing. Doctors are a bunch of quacks working for big pharma. Jesus/God is the real healer. Then they get cancer, take chemo, listen to their doctors, and give God all the credit for their recovery.
These Christians do not rely on evidence for anything. Everything is based purely off of feelings, emotions, and their perception of God. And of course other right-wing conservative Christians who are highly vocal like Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh, James Dobson, Jimmy Swaggart, Franklin Graham. They are Christians so they can't possibly be wrong. Planned Parenthood is trying to promote sex and abortions for teens and kids. Gays and Lesbians have an agenda and it is this: To make their sin normal and to turn more people into sinners. Obama is the anti-Christ who will overthrow the government with a military coup in order to run for a third term. Charles Darwin became a Christian when he died. Birth control pills cause abortions. America deserved 9/11 because we "allow" sin. God sent an earthquake to Haiti because they believe in voodoo. Christians will be the minority in this country in ten years and it will be the Christian's fault for allowing it to happen. Muslims want to take over our country and implement Sharia law. This will be the beginning of true persecution in America.
Christians who don't share any of these views are, of course, not true Christians. Misguided at best, swayed by the devil at worst. I'm not entirely sure what my mother thinks of me, although at this point, we are polar opposites on the political scale. Then again, we are polar opposites on almost everything. What I do know is that sometimes I look at my mother and think, I wish you were smarter. I also think she would be a much better person if she weren't religious. Her religion has made her judgmental, it has led to insane conspiracy theories, it causes her to discriminate against others. There is very little empathy and a great deal of shaming. And I am always a bit surprised by her compassion and work with the homeless because in almost every other area of her life she is a judgmental prude, but in that one thing she is compassionate and understanding. It makes no sense to me that she has such a heart for feeding the hungry and yet believes that any woman who has ever had an abortion should be in jail for murder.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.