A common sentiment I see among Atheists is that those who label themselves agnostic are really just atheists who want the best of both worlds. Now, the way that I have always understood atheism is that atheists make the claim that there is no god and this is a fact unless religious people can prove otherwise, which they can't. An agnostic on the other hand admits to not knowing either way and is therefore in the middle.
Now, although I would lean more towards atheist, there are a few reasons why I am not willing to call myself an atheist:
1. I cannot say there is no god. Although I seriously doubt the existence of a all-knowing all-powerful omniscient Judeo-Christian god, I am not entirely convinced that there is nothing since I still wonder about things like ghosts and souls. While these things could be explained away by science, to me it feels like the same way in which Christians explain away inaccuracies of the Bible. They explain in a way that supports their own opinions or beliefs. That isn't fact.
2. Atheist is a bad word. My husband is very uncomfortable with the word atheist. Having been raised in an extremely right-wing conservative background, my husband and I both were told what atheists were and weren't. Devil worshippers, enemies of Christians, arrogant, belligerent, assholes whose sole mission in life is to take down Christians and the American church. Even though my husband is basically an Agnostic Christian, he cannot let those ideas go. When he listens to comedians like Tim Minchin and Ricky Gervais, what he is hearing is vitrol, anger, and arrogance...not humor. Now that I a non-believer, I hear the words of Richard Dawkins as reasoned and calm. This is not what my husband hears. Because this makes him so uncomfortable, it is better for the peace and sanity in my home, that I call myself agnostic.
3. Other Christians can swallow Agnostic better. I am a no-drama kind of person. I avoid arguments and do not seek out strife or turmoil. I also happen to have a LOT of Christian friends who will eventually find out about my non-belief. While calling myself an atheist may line up more with the facts I see before me, agnostic is safe as it provides a middle ground and doesn't have the aforementioned negativity associated with the term atheist. This may seem like a cop out to some, but then some of us don't want to get into arguments with our Aunt Sally and Elder Grant and Bishop Miller.
4. This is my personal spiritual journey and it is no one's business what I choose to label myself as. If I say I am agnostic, then you will just have to trust that I know what that means and that is the label I choose to slap on myself. If there was a way to do this deconversion thing and not have a label at all, I would, but I don't think that is possible in our religion-rich culture.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.