I am not a naturally angry person. In the three years I have been married I have never yelled at my husband, even when I was upset. The last "friend" who picked a fight with me was over a decade ago and after that night, I never saw her again. I don't enjoy debates or arguments as they make me anxious and upset, even when they are just televised. Of course, things do upset me, but I would like to think that they are things that matter. Like how we treat the poor in this country, the xenophobia towards immigrants, LGBTQ rights, women's rights.
When it comes to Christianity, I try not to be an angry person. This is mostly for my own benefit, but also as a defense mechanism because Christians do a lot of things that make me angry if I let it. No one person in my life epitomizes this quandry more than my mother. Although I love her dearly, she is an insanely illogical, conspiracy theorist, right-wing religious zealot. And in my mind she represents all the uber-conservative Christians out there, the ones who since they already believe in demons have absolutely no problem believing in conspiracy theories. These Christians see nothing wrong with discriminating against gay people because they chose to be gay and by making that choice, they somehow deserve to be treated badly. It doesn't matter that this flies in the face of everything Jesus taught. It's people flaunting their sin and those people need to be reminded, as often as possible, that they are horrible people who deserve hell. Because that's okay. I mean, God doesn't want them to sit idly by when people are sinning, right? These Christians believe that abortion is wrong no matter what, but seem to care very little for those teen mothers and rape victims after they leave the hospital with their little bundle of joy. Sure there are Christian organizations who do try to help, but I have attended many churches with these staunch pro-lifers and most of their commitment begins and ends with themselves. In other words, they show their support for all things pro-life by having babies of their own. Most don't volunteer to help single mothers, or provide parenting classes, or even help out at soup kitchens. Instead, they sit in their pews and gossip about the new single mom who walked in in ratty clothes. They sure as hell care about whether she has an abortion and don't give a flying fuck what happens to her afterward. And don't get me wrong, they say they care. But their actions don't show it. These Christians are so staunchly Christian that any politician who claims to be Christian is an instant win in their book. Unless of course that person is in that "other" party, then it means that the man (because it is usually men) is lying and probably a secret atheist or Muslim or whatever they are most afraid of. These Christians believe so firmly that the end times are coming and coming soon that they search for persecution wherever they can find it. It's hiding in their schools when they are told that although no one cares if they pray, they just can't pray for everyone before a football game. They see it in their courthouses when the ten commandments are taken down, because Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me is an important law that should run our government, even if such a statement would be unconstitutional. They see it when a professor challenges their beliefs. It's at work when a co-worker asks you to please, for the love of God, stop telling me about Jesus. It's at a friend's party when an atheist asks you why you believe in a God. Persecution is everywhere. It's in the fact that people sin and they are expected to not condemn that person to hell in public. They are also aware that their persecution could be worse so they often post stories of "martyrs" around the world who really are being persecuted--as a sign of solidarity. These Christians are so committed to a literal interpretation of the Bible that they reject all science unless it benefits them. Climate change cannot possibly be the result of human beings because God said he would destroy the earth, thereby it is impossible for humans to do it. Of course, they admit that we have can polluted our own water sources and will get very upset about things like fracking, but climate change....not a thing. Doctors are a bunch of quacks working for big pharma. Jesus/God is the real healer. Then they get cancer, take chemo, listen to their doctors, and give God all the credit for their recovery. These Christians do not rely on evidence for anything. Everything is based purely off of feelings, emotions, and their perception of God. And of course other right-wing conservative Christians who are highly vocal like Pat Robertson, Rush Limbaugh, James Dobson, Jimmy Swaggart, Franklin Graham. They are Christians so they can't possibly be wrong. Planned Parenthood is trying to promote sex and abortions for teens and kids. Gays and Lesbians have an agenda and it is this: To make their sin normal and to turn more people into sinners. Obama is the anti-Christ who will overthrow the government with a military coup in order to run for a third term. Charles Darwin became a Christian when he died. Birth control pills cause abortions. America deserved 9/11 because we "allow" sin. God sent an earthquake to Haiti because they believe in voodoo. Christians will be the minority in this country in ten years and it will be the Christian's fault for allowing it to happen. Muslims want to take over our country and implement Sharia law. This will be the beginning of true persecution in America. Christians who don't share any of these views are, of course, not true Christians. Misguided at best, swayed by the devil at worst. I'm not entirely sure what my mother thinks of me, although at this point, we are polar opposites on the political scale. Then again, we are polar opposites on almost everything. What I do know is that sometimes I look at my mother and think, I wish you were smarter. I also think she would be a much better person if she weren't religious. Her religion has made her judgmental, it has led to insane conspiracy theories, it causes her to discriminate against others. There is very little empathy and a great deal of shaming. And I am always a bit surprised by her compassion and work with the homeless because in almost every other area of her life she is a judgmental prude, but in that one thing she is compassionate and understanding. It makes no sense to me that she has such a heart for feeding the hungry and yet believes that any woman who has ever had an abortion should be in jail for murder.
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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