Today I had a phone conversation with my mother that turned to my complaints about how PC my work is. I work for an academic publisher and everyone here really likes to believe they are super woke, to use a popular colloquialism. Although I absolutely agree that we desperately need to hire a diverse group of people, some of the things my co-workers are doing just feels more like slacktivism than actual change. For example: Some of my co-workers have begun introducing themselves at the beginning of meetings with something like, "Hello my name is [insert name]. I go by the pronouns she, her, and hers." And then they launch into the meeting. And it is stupid. People, I get that there are folks out there who do not subscribe to gender norms. I am okay with this. I will call you whatever you want to be called. I'll even ask if it isn't completely obvious or I am unsure. The ownness isn't just on the other person. I'll call you whatever you want. But there is no way in hell that I am going to introduce myself with the pronouns I use. I am female. I look female, act female, and present as female. I have never had anyone in my entire life doubt that my pronouns are she, her, and hers. I'm not adding it to my email to give some outward sign that I am cool with whatever it is we are trying to say we are cool about.
So anyway, that's just a setup for what my mother says next: "Well, they just want attention. That's what [the gays] want, right?" My reply went something along the lines of, Of course not. Not everyone wants attention. Gay or straight. Most just want to live their lives. Especially trans people who are in serious danger if they made themselves known. It's very dangerous to be trans in this country. Most just want to live their lives and have some happiness and fulfillment. Just like anyone. My mother then said something about the "people she works with really are dramatic and want to be known". She is now referring to the homeless people she serves food to once a week. Umm, mom, I don't think you should be using homeless people with serious mental illness issues as an indicator of how most gay people act. I have known gay people who are loud and proud, and I have known straight people who are that way too. No one gets mad and threatens to kill the overly macho dude who talks about how many girls he has slept with though. That's the difference.
What I didn't add was that she doesn't get upset about an in-your-face Christian with an obvious agenda who flaunts their spirituality and sexuality as if they are righteousness police.
My mother did not agree. Even though this is simple logic. Not every gay person is out of the closet. Not every gay person is effeminate or butch. (for lack of better terms) Not every gay person is political. Some quite literally are just trying to live their lives. Some are more conservative. I have a gay co-worker who doesn't think gay people should get married. Some are activists and have agendas. Others just want to be left alone to raise children, work, play D&D, and binge-watch their favorite sci-fi show. I've known a lot of gay people over the course of my life. Once I was able to knock down the wall that my indoctrination had created, I was able to see them as normal people.
Logic and my mother are not friends. I doubt this little conversation did anything to change her mind, despite the truth in it. Her fear and hate has led her down a dark path of contempt and prejudice.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.