Part of my job as an editor requires me to read books that aren't always my cup of tea. For example, a book on China's globalization strategies is certainly not the gripping read I would choose for myself. However, I get paid money and thus, I read anything that is put in front of me.
This week I got to read a young woman's memoir on her sexual exploits and general sluttiness. I don't use that term slut lightly. In fact, it's a term I have been taught never to use. But this woman happily takes up the moniker and seems blissful in its use. She quit counting sexual partners at 75. This number seems absolutely crazy to me, not just because of my repressed religious upbringing, but because it IS absolutely nuts. Most were one-night-stands although several were repeats over a period of years. On top of the constant Tinder hook-ups, there was also copious amounts of sexting and a few dates that never led to sex for whatever reasons. Who has time for all this? As I read, I realized that while I would choose to play board games, read, write, go to a museum, watch a movie, paint miniatures, or play violin...this woman is simply using her free time to have sex. When she is bored, she hops on Tinder and finds someone to hook up with. Lunch sex, dinner sex, late night sex, bar hookups. When she is traveling, part of the adventure of a new place is seeing what the local sex cuisine is like. Again, not what I would do, but then, she probably would think my life is super boring and definitely sexually repressed. I appreciate how matter-of-fact she is. That she never says anything against anyone who lives their life differently. She is unapologetic in her sexual exploits, but makes no judgment concerning others. In a way, this was a refreshing view of sex. I was taught all my life that sex always had an emotional attachment to it. That you couldn't help but develop feelings for the person you were intimate with. This woman proves that wrong. Although she had feelings for some of the men she encountered, very few of them did she care about on any emotional level. It was a bit of fun. Her version of a rousing board game night. She talks about how nice it is to have early evening sex and then go out by herself for dinner and to read. It literally meant nothing more than a good time. Sometimes the encounters were obviously less than optimal. And she's a bit of a hypocrite at times. Like the time she had an evening with a banker off Tinder who didn't even remember her the next week when looking for another one-night-fling. This really bothered her, that he didn't recognize her and the evening meant nothing. Yet, she admits that she doesn't remember all her sexual encounters and some of them were too blasse to even write about. If that is the case then you wonder how many people she has mistakenly not recognized on the street after a sexual encounter or who she tried to have sex with again through Tinder or Pure, without realizing that she already had. If sexuality was a pendulum, I feel like this woman's story would be at the complete opposite of the arc from mine. Virgin bride with only one partner on one side. Self-proclaimed slut who, even though she has a fiancee now, will never be monogamous on the other. Honestly, I think there is problem a much healthier version in the middle.
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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