My friend, the "Spiritual" one, is very supportive of my deconversion, but is so convinced that there is a god that she is always trying to convince me that there is one. I know this doesn't sound supportive on its face, but she makes me feel the least judged of all my friends who know of my atheism. Of course, she doesn't believe this "god" can be known or that any of the major religions have it right, but still she believes. Also, there is still that Christian upbringing in there, twisting things up. Her most recent "proof" is that she recently made a big life decision and because she felt peaceful about the decision, then she must be making the right choice. A god of some sort is guiding her and giving her "peace".
This. Is. Not. Logical. Firstly, this ignores the concept of psychology completely. If you have a job that you hate, with terrible hours where you never get to see your new husband, gossipy backstabbing co-workers, working with your biological sister who literally doesn't talk to you in or out of work, and you know you will be okay financially, it is probably safe to assume you are going to feel pretty good about your decision to quit that job. Even without anything to fall back on. Sometimes it is important for your own emotional and psychological well-being to remove yourself from toxic environments. Even if you aren't thinking about it logically, your subconscious knows that this is the best choice in this scenario at this moment and therefore you feel good about your decision. This does not mean however, that it was a good decision or that the universe/god/FSM is out there guiding your steps. This may have been a bad decision on her part. By quitting and starting this new job, she may have opened herself up to a different kind of frustration, ones that could be better or worse than the last one. And what about those bad feelings? When I flew to Boston to start my Bachelor's degree, my stomach was in knots. I was fearful and instantly lonely. Boston was great in some respects and awful in others, but I don't regret my decision to move there for a second nor do I think I made a bad choice. In fact, it helped shape me in many good ways and that foreboding I felt on the day I flew away was justified fear of the unknown, not the universe telling me not to. Having a bad feeling about something doesn't mean there is a deity out there trying to warn you about something. Intuition is also a very important part of the human psyche. Our brains are computers, capable of complex thought and algorithms. We can look into our future and project where we think we may be in a year or five years. It doesn't mean there won't be bumps along the way or things that would derail us, but if a big decision means that you can fulfill one of those life goals (like no longer working in retail) then you will probably feel good about that decision. Another element that she is not considering are all the times she felt she was doing the right thing, ordained by god if you will, and it turns out she was wrong. Like deciding to go to nursing school and then not getting in after two years of intensive studying. Rather than try again, she just quit, even though she had been so sure three years earlier that this is what she was supposed to do with her life. Or how excited she was to move back close to her family, only to have them treat her like shit when she got here. Or dating a man who she found out after two years never got divorced from his wife and hadn't renewed his green card. The divorce was finalized and now they are married, and the green card situation looks bleak thanks to Trump. Those decisions that she felt so great about have brought both good and bad. It's this simple. Having a good feeling about something is about the farthest thing from evidence of a god in my mind. Especially if those feelings are not 100% full proof. If every decision you had a good feeling about turned out to be amazing, I may put a bit more stock in it, but when your "at peace" decision was to quit your crappy retail job, I'm just not going to jump on the god bandwagon. I'm glad she felt good about her decision, but even if she was struggling with it and was instantly regretful, it doesn't mean that her decision was good or bad. If there is something to the parallel earths hypothesis, it is possible that in another universe she didn't quit her job and she felt at peace with that decision there too. Only time will tell whether she made a good decision or not. And that decision is on her.
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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