It's been a rough week in my home. We had to ask our 19yo adopted son to move out on Friday after repeated incidents that compromised our safety. It was definitely not the optimal solution, but we had exhausted all the therapy/interventions and he was not cooperating in the slightest. I don't feel guilty for kicking him out, although I am deeply concerned for his safety and future. I desperately want him back home where I know he is loved and taken care of and fed. It is also a relief to not have to sleep with our bedroom door locked. All that said, on the phone this morning my mother (who is unaware of my atheist status of the past 5 years) made the comment that my son would always be miserable and unhappy until he found Jesus. As if Christians are never miserable or unhappy. She starting giving me examples of rock stars who have become Christians and how amazing their lives are now and how miserable they were before. This, of course, implies that anyone who is not a Christian is leading a miserable life while also implying that you will magically not have any troubles and your life will turn around if you just got saved. I didn't bother to point out there I know quite a few miserable Christians. Or that Jesus is not going to erase my son's lifetime of abuse and neglect. I hate this idea that people become Christians and like magic they pull a full 180 and they become these wonderful, happy people. Usually, if you read deeper into those stories, they quit drugs around that time too. I'm sure that helps. And they become part of a community that keeps them accountable while also telling them they are worth something. Not to mention, most (I looked up the guy he was talking about) also begin seeing therapists. They attribute the turnaround to a god, but it seems like the idea of god and redemption is the catalyst for the change, not the change itself. Sometimes I wish my son would find religion, because I want that magical 180 where he turns his life around and realizes that his bio mom was wrong and he isn't worthless. But I also don't think it works that way and it is good he doesn't have religious baggage on top of the neglect baggage. As for those rock stars, I suspect they were using drugs to soothe some deep hurts that they hadn't dealt with before. I'm glad they found their way out of self-destruction, but I really wish people (particularly Christians) could see that it is THEM who made the change. They are all so much stronger than they think.
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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