We may have an opportunity to get the exact sectional we wanted from Pottery Barn for about 1/5 of the price. After talking to the lady on the phone, I hung up and sent a quick prayer up above. "Lord, please let us get this couch and please don't let them have been smokers or for it to be down-filled." And then I stopped, shocked at myself for praying to someone that I really don't believe in. It was such a normal thing to prayer for stupid things that I did it out of habit.
Here is the pep-talk I gave myself afterward: What did that prayer matter? The woman said the couch was still available. Even if you pray, that will not magically make the owners non-smokers nor will the pillows miraculously turn into polyester instead of down. The couch will be what it is. If it is what you need, perfect. If not, it doesn't matter because we can afford to buy a full-priced sectional.
My mother taught me to pray for everyone. Parking spaces, openings in traffic, ambulances as they drove by, homeless people on the street. The truth is though that the opening in traffic will happen eventually because that is what happens with traffic patterns. My prayer for the ambulance isn't going to change the outcome of where they are going or what is happening inside. And that prayer for the homeless person won't help them with their mental illness, give them something to eat, or a warm place to sleep that night. I see prayer more as a placebo effect. It makes us feel better to say the prayer, but the outcome really isn't going to change. If there is a God, he isn't going to make a car disappear from a nice parking spot just so you can have it. If he did then he is focusing on the wrong things. I mean...parking spaces over HIV+ orphan in the Congo?
It was a slip-up, but it my mind, one of the most ridiculous ones. I have not believed in the power of prayer in a very long time, yet when I really wanted something, I automatically jumped to my placebo. Indoctrination is a bitch.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.