Ahhh, Thanksgiving. A time for food, family, and awkward conversations about religion. To give them credit, my in-laws are actually pretty good about avoiding politics and religion. My mother-in-law is a staunch Trump supporter who hates Obama/democrats and yet manages to not bring this up 97% of the time. So I'm okay with this. My husband's cousins on the other hand, just can't help themselves. *Abby is one of those people. She once came in while we were on the couch and was weeping over how wonderful the church service she just came from was. She was also the person who talked about there being a "witch" that they prayed over in service. Abby was concerned that our son has been going to a Unitarian fellowship. "Aren't you worried that those other beliefs will rub off on him." I'm counting on it. She was surprised by this. I explained that my kid has made up his own religion that is absolutely ridiculous. I hope people challenge him in those beliefs. I hope people call him out when something sounds religious. I'm glad they are encouraging him to learn more about all religion because he knows nothing about any of them and refuses to learn from me. I didn't bother to mention that the kind of church she goes to, the one that believes in demons and witches, is the exact kind of church I am avoiding. Since I don't feel like vetting every Christian church out there, it felt smarter to take him somewhere where he would be free to explore his beliefs in an environment that doesn't play on his dark fantasies. Then she shifted the conversation to talking about hearing the voice of God when it came to jobs. Now, this is where I should let you know that Abby has had a rather tumultuous professional life. She doesn't have a career and bounces every few years to various clerical jobs. Nothing wrong with this, but there is clearly no plan in place on her end. Her past two jobs have ended because of layoffs, which she admits that she saw coming but didn't "feel peace" about leaving. This is Christian-eeze for, I felt uncomfortable leaving and didn't have another plan so I just stayed. It doesn't matter if things worked out well or not, these people always find a way of spinning it so that their decision was good. Which explains why she was so miffed when I told her that I have never heard the "voice of God". Ever. Even when I was a Christian, I never felt like God was speaking to me. In fact, it often made me wonder if I just wasn't praying hard enough or not listening hard enough. What I didn't trust were my own thoughts, because those sounded suspiciously like my own thoughts and almost always aligned with what I wanted. From what I read in the Bible, it seemed to me that if God wanted me to do something really important, that not only would I know that it absolutely came from him, but it may not always align with my own feelings on the matter. Of course, I used to Christian-eeze phrases like "the Lord led me" and "I felt called". In truth, those were just decisions that made sense. So I told Abby this. That I have never heard the voice of God. "But, how do you make decisions?" she asked, completely mystified. Easy. I weight the pros and cons, talk it over with friends & family, and make the best choice based on the available data. I don't trust my own gut feelings, because life has taught me that feelings are fickle and should only be used when feeling danger. And just like Abby, some of those decisions have been beneficial and some have not. Here's an interesting thought experiment: Where do you think you would be right now if you only listened to your gut feelings and inner voice?
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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