So not completely in the closet, since there are a number of people who know now. As far as family: my husband, kid, one cousin, and two brothers know. Most of my close friends know and the ones that don't are for very calculated reasons. My parents don't have a clue, although I think my dad suspects I have gone astray a bit, but he would never say anything. My mother just thinks I have become more liberal. I've been "becoming more liberal" for a long time, but since I avoid talking about politics and religion with anyone in my family, no one is aware of the extent of my shift in opinions.
When I meet new people now I am very honest about my beliefs. I make it clear fairly early on in the relationship, whether that is a friendship or more of a working relationship, that I am not a believer. In the Bible belt the subject comes up a lot more than it should. No one has invited me to church although a few people have mentioned prayer in the context of me being stressed out with the adoption process. The person who seems to have the most issues with me being in the closet is my kid. I know, for him it probably feels like he is keeping this big secret. And maybe that is unfair to him. But I have known my family for 36 years and he has known them for just under eight months. I think I am the better judge of how these people will handle this information. Or as I told him, "It is my secret to tell." I also explained that although I know he doesn't like it, to tell people against my wishes would be a violation, even if he doesn't agree. It used to bother me more that I was so in the closet, but at this point I think enough people know that I don't feel so confined. And it's not like I am a different person. I'm just not convinced there is a god.
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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