I started listening to a new audio book this weekend called A People's History of the United States. The book promises to show history from different perspectives other than the traditional hero's and conquerers. This is an intriguing concept, one that I think is important. Of course, as soon as I told Facebook I was reading it, someone immediately commented that it was revisionist history. I didn't reply because I hate arguing with people, but what I wanted to say was, "Telling history from a different viewpoint is not revisionist. Especially if you have facts to back up those viewpoints. You may not like those viewpoints, but that doesn't matter. Ask ten people about what is happening right with the upcoming election and you will get ten different answers. Those answers are different viewpoints of the same period in history. They are not necessarily right or wrong, but they do help paint a larger more complete picture." I am only two chapters in and it is a huge book, but so far I am fascinated and horrified. Did you know that all the native people who were on Cuba when Christopher Columbus arrived were systematically wiped out within a few decades by Columbus and those who followed him? Not a single descendent survived the rape, torture, enslavement, and outright murder brought by the Spaniards. Worse, even Columbus admitted that the people were exceptionally kind, generous, and loving. Instead of working with them though, he saw their kindness as weakness and niavity, to be exploited as quickly as possible. Worse yet, he used scripture verses to back up his atrocities, believing that God gave him the authority to enslave and kill those who stood in the path of God's chosen. (him)
It is no surprise after reading some of this book yesterday and the events with my family on Saturday, that I would have a semi-nightmare concerning some of these topics. In my dream, I was hiding in an old building from Christians who were looking for non-believers. If caught, I knew I would be killed. At one point, hiding beneath a table, a box cutter my only weapon, I managed to escape notice. But then they came back. I took off running. The people in pursuit were all people I recognized, people who I consider to be super religious, but had once been friends. Most had knives as weapons and a few lunged at me. I swung my box cutter wildly, slicing at anyone who came too close. I was a wild woman stating over and over, "I don't want to die." In response, they quoted scripture at me. One girl named April had a knife and kept lunging at me. "You're going to murder me?" I asked. "Thou shall not murder." She stared at me for a moment before dropping her blade. I managed to finally make my way towards some woods. Another "friend", a guy who in real life quit hanging out with me when I decided not to go to his church when I moved to the same town as him, kept trying to cut me with a knife. I managed to get a good cut to his arm. "You cut me!" he exclaimed. "You want to kill me," I said back. "But you deserve to die. I'm a Christian. I don't deserve this."
Then I ran. I ran to the woods. I climbed tries to avoid detection. Eventually I found a river which I followed to a lake. The Christians had drones so I knew I had to very careful in a more open space like a lake. I found a few lake houses, but knew I couldn't stay there. I did find a map that looked like the US, but it was split up. The southeast US was called, Constantinople and was a country run by Christians. My only salvation would be to travel south and then west to Mexico. The Catholics in Mexico were apparently much more moderate and would help non-Christians who were being caught up in Constantinople's net. They would help me get to the west where only moderate religious peoples and non-religious lived.
I have rather epic dreams like this on a fairly regular basis. It's actually a bit disorientating to wake up from such detailed dreams. Upsetting too since they feel so real and logical. Even more upsetting when they include people you know trying to kill you. Obviously, we can see what is going on with my subconscious. I don't consider super religious people to be safe. Not that I think any of them would kill me in real life, but the feeling of safety around them is non-existent. I know as a closeted atheist, I must remain silent. I cannot give myself away. It's frustrating, but as I have stated before, I do actually have a good relationship with my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews and it simply isn't worth it right now to tell them. Nevermind that I only see these people bi-monthly. Those who are close to me are either very moderate Christians or not religious at all. Only one regular friend is still unaware of my non-religious status, but she isn't a close friend so I am not too concerned about it. We rarely discuss religion. Unlike my family in where it permeates every single area of their lives.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.