Adoption is a big thing in Christian circles. I know this because every church I have ever been a part of has made a huge deal out of orphans and adoption. They believe God has called them to adopt children. One question though: If God is calling you to adopt, why does he seem to have a preference for babies?
Only 1% of women in the US give their babies up for adoption. (a huge drop from the almost 9% in the 1990s) By my rough calculations that is just over 39,000 babies a year available for adoption. Experts state that there may be anywhere between one and two million people who are waiting for a baby. Well over the amount actually available, which is why so many people go overseas looking for babies. Yet, there are roughly 100,000 waiting children in foster care, most over the age of 4, waiting for families. There are more than enough families wanting children so what is the problem?
Well, the first is obvious. Teenagers and ten-year-olds aren't nearly as cute as a newborn. They also come with baggage. Contrary to popular opinion not all of these kids are so damaged that they would make life a living hell though. Many of these kids are good kids who just need some stability and discipline. It's also true that some of these kids are really damaged by the things that brought them into care. But I find it very hard to believe that of those one to to million people, there aren't some people who wouldn't be good for those kinds of kids too. A few more stats for you. Pastors like to tell their congregations that if 7% of the world's Christians each adopted a child, regardless of age, there would be no more orphans. Of course, this number is reliant on all sects of Christianity and those who are cultural Christians. If you only were factoring in US Christians, nearly half would have to adopt orphans in order to end the orphan crisis. That is never going to happen.
With the majority of people who adopt still being Christian though, this raises a lot of questions. It is also why I find it hard to believe that a god is telling you to adopt. The logic would then go a couple ways:
1) God told you to adopt, but didn't specify age so you just assumed baby.
2) God told you to adopt and said to adopt an "older" child and you ignored him in favor of an infant.
3) You wanted a baby sooo bad that you convinced yourself that God told you to adopt one.
4) You wanted a baby sooo bad that you would never consider anything else no matter what a god told you.
5) There is a god and she/he doesn't give a shit what you do. After all, if it cared there wouldn't be orphans in the first place.
6) There is no god and you are just following your own desires.
7) There is no god and if you just had a bit more information and were less fearful, you may actually consider adopting older children.
8) You are one of the very small percentage of god believers who didn't take a baby.
9) You are one of the even smaller percentage of non-believers who adopted.
10) You are of a tiny tiny minority of non-believers who has adopted an older child.
Does this seem harsh? It should, because it is. I'm tired of hearing Christians talk about how God told them/led them to adopt and yet, somehow that same god is allowing 20,000 teenagers to age out of the system every year without a family. If you are going to pretend to talk to an imaginary being at least be a bit more honest about it.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.