I told my mother this morning that I was no longer going to church. Baby steps, remember? Here's an interesting thing about my parents. They have been hurt by the church. Both attended a church for years in which they were beyond under-appreciated. When they left they were extremely hurt and jaded. My dad's talents, which are considerable, had been taken for granted or even disregarded for someone with a bigger personality and a louder mouth. My mom, always the socialite, found herself ostracized for reasons that she didn't understand. Which is why she didn't blink when I told her I was done with the church for a while.
"I understand. We're taking a bit of a break right now too." I shared with her some very real feelings, like the fact that I felt like a fake and didn't fit in. That anytime I questioned anything, people looked at me like I had three heads. The fact that, for me, church was really about socializing and the fact that I went to my church for nearly 5 years and made 0 friends, was a bit troubling to me. And she got all of it, because she has been there.
I have no delusions about this mess though. I don't think she will be understanding about atheism or agnosticism. Being disillusioned with the church and even having doubts is acceptable. Not being a Christian anymore is not. I told her we were not church shopping at all. That at this point, the next church we will go to will be one chosen for our future teenager. That is true too. If my adopted teen wants to go to youth group, then by jove we will find a youth group.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.