For the first time since I have deconverted and quit going to church, one of my Christian friends finally asked me how church was going. When I told her that I haven't been going, she seemed to not be surprised. I see this as good because I have been slowly trying to introduce these friends to the idea of me not being a Christian anymore.
The first thing she said that brought us to the question was when I told her our future son is Jewish. I've written about this before, but apparently this is the first she heard of it. So I explained to her what a Messianic Jew was and some of the controversy surrounding gentiles converting to it. "Well, at least he has a foundation," she said. For those who don't know, this is alluding to the fact that he has a foundation of faith in which my husband and I could eventually convert him to Christianity. "We aren't missionary adopting," I reminded her as I have reminded everyone who mentions this topic. "He can believe whatever he wants. I have some questions for him regarding his faith, but more because I don't think he even knows what he believes and is using the religion as a way to stay connected to his bio mom." There was a pause. And then it came. "So how is church then?" When I told her I haven't been going she asked if it was because I needed a break or just didn't like the church or what. I told her as honestly as I could that I needed a break and when life gets super busy, it is really nice to spend a leisure Sunday morning eating brunch with my loved ones. I know she doesn't agree. At all. But she didn't say anything more about it and the conversation moved on.
Baby steps. Let her wrap her mind around the fact that I am no longer attending church. If she is interested in knowing more, she can always ask. I probably won't tell her the whole truth right up front, but then I can let her know I am having some doubts. That my problem isn't with the church, but rather the actual foundations of Christianity. It may be another two years before any of that happens.
The most interesting part of all of this to me is that when it comes to these kinds of Christians, the idea that you wouldn't try to convert a child to Christianity is what would make you question if someone was still going to church. My sister-in-law just took in a teenager that they used to take care of in foster care years ago. One of the conditions of him moving in was that he attend church with them. He is a nineteen-year-old grown person who is being told that in order to have a home with a loving family, he must subject himself to their brand of religion. And that is expected. My Christian friends and family do not question this at all. So the fact that we will get a child of any age and won't attempt to indoctrinate them, is almost unconscionable. Don't we care about their soul? Don't we care about their moral compass? How are we going to build a community of support without a church?
I kind of look forward to the day when they finally put it all together.
This is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer.