I've been an atheist for over two years now and thus far, have avoided telling my fundamentalist parents as well as my more dogmatic friends and family. Since I know what they believe, it is usually easy to avoid or walk away from hot-button topics like evolution, the validity of the Bible, Biblical literalism, abortion, etc. I know I am not going to change their minds and since I am a grown married adult living not near them, I don't feel the need to create unnecessary friction. Sometimes these subjects simply can't be avoided though, and this morning I had the pleasure of speaking to my mother about ALL of them. Gods damn it.
I don't even know how we got on the subject, but somehow we started talking about science and my science illiteracy that was a result of religious fundamentalist homeschooling. I have been working very hard to learn what I can since abandoning young earth creationism in my late teens, but it has been an uphill battle with quite a few wonderful college science courses. "Well, you didn't like science," my mother said. I informed her that at one point I wanted to be an astronaut and had looked up what the qualifications were for it. At the time, I was sure that I could do it and even applied for the summer space program, but didn't get in. I sent the application in with my allowance money because I knew my parents wouldn't be very supportive. But, you know, I didn't like science. What the real issue was was math. I had a hard time with formulas and such, which began to make science courses super difficult. Of course, I found out as an adult that I was being taught math in a way that only someone who is really gifted at math would actually get. And nevermind that my mom determined that I disliked science because I wasn't interested in plant biology, a passion of hers and boring to me. So because I didn't like the kind of science she did, I didn't like science. You have probably already guessed that this was the only biology I was taught too. No animal biology. God made animals just the way they are don't ya know. So our conversation quickly turned into a, "Yes, I know that is what you believe. I do not. You know I don't. We've talked about this before." And every time she would just come back with a, "Well, I believe the Bible is true." That's nice. I told her that there was a lot of evidence to back up science and that her trying to force science to support her religion simply because she *believes* it to be true, isn't evidence. Of course, evidence doesn't mean a damn thing to her. The Bible is the inspired word of a god, therefore everything in it must be true. If scientists don't see that then it MUST mean there is a worldwide conspiracy and science just can't be trusted at all. I informed her that this was insulting to all the Christians who are scientists and all my friends who are scientists. Basically calling them liars because you don't like the data is wrong. And then we went down the road of crazy. Adam and Eve having babies of every ethnicity. Science doesn't back it up, but it's the only way to account for the variations in our race...so that's the answer. Noah's ark happened because the Bible says so and there is evidence of floods all over the earth. Yes, because it floods everywhere and humans have a habit of building their cities near water. Animals used to talk because the snake talked to Eve and she wasn't scared. Rainbows are a promise from God. After the flood God changed the atmosphere so that we now have rainbows when it rains. Twisting science in order to fit in with a literal interpretation of the Bible. It's nutballs. I have read fantasy books that make more sense than this bullshit my parents believe. "Well, you at least believe Jesus existed. There are multiple accounts of it from other sources," my mom finally huffed out. I paused and slowly said, I'm not sure if I do. There is only one account and most Biblical scholars agree that it was probably added in later to give validity to the story. I didn't say I wasn't a Christian, but I may as well have because questioning the existence of Christ is the same thing. There was a lot of shock and confusion on her part and annoyance on mine. I do not want to talk to you about this, I kept thinking. I know what you believe. But at least now it is clear to her that I do not. She, of course, recommended three Christian books that I have read several times actually and find their arguments crude at best. I hope she gossips about it to everyone because that would make my coming out of the closet so much easier. It was bound to happen eventually and I don't have a lot of patience for people who shit on facts just because it doesn't align with their beliefs. I don't know if anything will change, but I'm kind of counting on it. My mom is not a rational person and my dad is only slightly better. Should be interesting to see how things go from here. Religion is far too important for my mom to simply let this go.
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AuthorThis is a personal, but secret, blog archiving my deconversion from a Christian to a non-believer. Archives
December 2020
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